Happy Holidays...

It's here! It's finally here! My most favorite time of year! I cant begin to explain it, but I have always loved Christmas. Even as a kid, it was about more than just the packages under the tree. You could just feel the magic. The plainness of the small town I grew up in was transformed into a beautiful winter wonderland, people went out of their way to be nice, and my family (which, admittedly, had it's fair share of drama throughout my childhood) seemed to just be for awhile. Christmas is magic! Even as I approach 30, I still get giddy when I see that first glimmer of a Christmas tree or I see Santa ride into Herald Square on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. The sound of  Christmas music still makes me misty eyed and takes me back to that childlike state. Every. Single. Time. Long story short...I'm essentially Buddy the Elf.

Smiling's my favorite...

However, this cheerful elf often finds herself in a sea of Grinches. People who seem to hate Christmas (or the holiday season in general) just because they can. Whether it's the stress of gift buying, the constant stream of Christmas music, or they just never got that Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle (bonus points if you can figure out which Christmas movie I just referenced)...some people just really hate Christmas. Part of me cant comprehend such a thing and always try my best to be cheerful in the face of Grinchiness but another part of me understands and sees the potential culprit. It's the so-called "War on Christmas" and the battle for the holiday season.

First, let me start out by saying that for my family, Christmas is a time we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (as it is for a lot of people). Sure, we still put up or Pagan tree and take our girls to see Santa Claus, but we still try our best to keep it as Christ centered as possible. Some years that means I read the Nativity story to my girls and some years it means we just sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. That being said, I understand (and dare I say, ACCEPT) that this isn't the only way to celebrate the holiday season. There are so many celebrations this time of year that are so rich in culture and are beautiful in their own way. Rooted in love, togetherness, and tradition...what's the problem?

Having worked in a retail/customer service setting for several years, I have come across people from all walks of life. Christmas time always being my favorite, I would always try to pass along the cheer as often as possible. And boy, let me tell you, a lot of people can be jerks this time of year. Once, for merely wishing a customer a "Merry Christmas", I got to be on the receiving end of an anti-Christian diatribe that seemed to last forever. I have also been on the receiving end of a Bill O'Reiley/Rush Limbaugh-esque verbal lashing for simply switching it up and saying "Happy Holidays". I have been received with deadpan responses like "Thanks, but I'm Jewish" or people who just downright ignored me and huffed away like I just told them to stick it where the sun don't shine. For the life of me, I don't understand why people are like this.

The voice of America ladies and gentleman

Let me tell you how I feel...when people tell me "Merry Christmas", I feel good and often reciprocate the sentiment. When people tell me "Happy Holidays" I feel good and often reciprocate the sentiment. I most certainly don't take it as an attack on my Christian faith and neither should you. We live in a world today where most people see the value of a human life as a big fat ZERO. Where people don't look up from their phones long enough to see a person in need of a friendly smile or casual hello. Where basic human kindness is virtually nonexistent. So if someone wants to take time out of their day to NOTICE ME and share a moment of kindness with me, I'm going to let them.

 As for holiday displays...PUT THEM ALL UP! I would love to see a display that celebrates the differences of our faiths. As a Christian, it bothers me that Christian symbolism is often times removed from holiday displays, but it doesn't anger me to see a menorah or Star of David next to a nativity. It doesn't bother me when people say holiday tree (though, admittedly, it sounds pretty stupid). What bothers me is the "my way is the only way" mentality. If we all just stopped fighting and just accepted our differences (and maybe try to see our similarities), the holidays would be more enjoyable. And atheists...could ya just stop? It's one thing to hold on to your non-beliefs, but to shame others for having beliefs is just ignorant. Stop making everything so political and just drink some egg nog already.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Just chill out this holiday season! Yes, it can be stressful and it can be lonely but just try to be open to the magic and I bet you can get back to that childlike, Buddy the Elf state too. And lastly, if you just CANT share the holiday cheer, keep your cynicism to yourself. There's enough of that poison going around. Just smile and be thankful that someone decided to share a bit of kindness with you.

You've got a friend in me...

So, I know I have been quite the absentee blogger (can I even consider myself a blogger?) but something has hit me today and I need put it into words I guess.

So, this morning, I came across a story about a mom in Tennessee. This young mom was arrested by an undercover cop at the Tennessee State Fair after apparently screaming at her 3 year old daughter and then, horrifically, smacking her daughter so hard on the back that she fell over and then the mom just walked away. Thankfully, the officer sprang into action and onlookers came to aid of the scared little girl.

Let me start by saying that this young woman's actions are completely unacceptable. No child deserves that treatment. Period. However, I think I'm about to take an unpopular stance here and say I feel for this mom on some level. Please do not misunderstand me...this woman deserves to be called out and even deserves her trip to jail. The child's safety is of the utmost importance here...but who's in Mom's corner? How many of you have seen a similar scene play out and said or did nothing? How many have passed by a mom who is seemingly at the end of her rope? What have you done to help women become better mothers? I'm not saying publicly losing it on your child on some level makes you a terrible mother...I mean, we've  all been there, right? The thing I am taking issue with is how quick we are to villainize each other. I don't know anything about this mother or about the events that led up to this terrible moment...maybe this woman is a monster...maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg of the abuse this little girl has to endure (and that thought truly breaks my heart). Or maybe this is just a young woman (mom's age is 22) who has never been taught how to be a proper mother...maybe this is a mom who is doing it all on her own with zero support system...maybe this is a mom that just snapped. I'm not saying her behavior is right...but before now, who has told her it is wrong? Who has offered to help her in these tough times? My guess is no one.

So, where do we go from here? I'm encouraging you all to reach out to each other. You see a mom having a rough time with her child? Ask if she needs help. Sure, she's probably going to say "no" but you're going to make her visible in a moment where she probably feels invisible. I know we're all busy. I know we all have our "stuff" to deal with and who knows, maybe you feel like that mom that is about to snap but when we reach out to each other, it makes us feel like we're not alone. Stop tearing each other down and build each other up. And any struggling mom that comes across this, I urge you to find a group of friends (playgroups, MOPS, library story hours are great venues to foster friendships with other moms). Be honest with each other about your struggles and help each other. I feel like if we were all honest about the help we need in this all consuming job of motherhood, stories like this would happen significantly less. Keep your eyes and hearts open. Don't let it come to this...

Attack of the SANCTIMOMMIES...

It's been awhile...I know, I know. I've been a little busy with my job. The hours suck, the boss is sometimes a pain in the butt, but I got a pretty hot co-worker so it all evens out. Anyway, I digress.

So, most of us in the parenting community are probably pretty familiar with the term "sanctimommy".  Most of us know at least one and have probably been one on one occasion or another or, God forbid, are a full fledged "sanctimommy" and don't even know it. Let me break it down for you...

According to Wikipedia, a "sanctimommy" (henceforth to be referred to as SM because I am too lazy to keep typing "sanctimommy") is;

 a portmanteau of two words, sanctimonious and mommy. The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility. 

Sound like someone you know? I am sure it does because, let's be honest, we've all been there a time or two. We all have our own opinions about this thing we call motherhood and sometimes we feel pretty strongly about them. Why do you think there are so many mommy blogs out there to begin with? But something is getting lost in translation. In our desires to be the best mommy humanly possible to our little ones, some of us have taken this desire a step too far by thinking that what works for YOU will (and should) work for everyone else. And this is where the all too famous "mommy wars" have begun and it's causing a lot of unnecessary stress in our already too stressful lives.

Now, I'm not saying stop having an opinion. Opinions are great! All I am saying is stop acting like your opinion is special. What works for my family may not work for yours. If slaving in the kitchen all day over a locally grown, organic masterpiece of a meal makes you feel like a good mommy, then by all means, do it but don't judge me for giving my kids macaroni and cheese and hot dogs because I wanted to have more time
to play outside. THAT'S what makes ME feel like a good mom. If you think homeschooling or private schooling is what's best for your kid then go for it but don't judge me because I recognize that I do not have the knowledge or patience to teach my children from a curriculum. It doesn't mean I don't care about their education or don't want to be involved with it...it just means I know my limits and what's best for MY kids. I think you get the point...

All I am saying is there is enough pressure on us as mothers to do a good job raising our kids. After all, it's probably the most important job in the world. We need to stop cutting other moms down. We need to stop giving advice that hasn't been solicited (I will go on record in saying that I HAVE done this and I'm working on it LOL). We NEED to lift each other up and support each other, no matter how different our opinions are. This job is freaking hard...let's stop making it harder by competing with each other. When in doubt...just shut up.

Rant pants on...

So, I've really struggled lately with the "voice" I want this blog to have. Do I want it to be funny? Do I want it to be informative? Do I want it to be a glorified diary? So many questions get in the way and the more I try to make it something, the less motivated I become. And then reality set in. I have TWO followers. I am thankful to them for showing interest in my writing enough to follow my blog when I do publish the random post from month to month. I want to build a huge following some day (like Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy) but until then, I think the best way to get that following is just to write. Yeah, it might be all over the place but that's me. I'm all over the place all the time. That being said...here we go. Time to put on my rant pants...

From the time I became a mother, my opinions on a lot of things have changed. From breastfeeding to midwives to those little "leashes" you see parents use for their kids (note: I'm not going to open up THAT can of worms today but I will say this...after you lose your child for even a brief moment in a busy place, your opinions might change as well). But one topic of discussion will almost always keep me busy for a good hour or so and that is the topic of childbirth.

Admittedly, I am THAT woman. I LOVE sharing my birth experiences with anyone who will listen. It's almost always after the fact that I realize that sharing the story of the delivery of my placenta was probably not appropriate dinner conversation. Ok, I kid, I kid...I have never broached that topic of discussion but I will talk your ear off about my labor and delivery story if you so much as look at my child for a second too long. And what's more...I'm not selfish in this fascination. I LOVE hearing everyone's story. I could sit with a group of women and talk for HOURS about our "war stories". Having gone through childbirth I realize that it is freaking awesome! I think it's so awesome that someday I would love nothing more than to become a certified doula. It just amazes me to my very core. That being said...there are some things about it that just piss me off.

I'm at the age now that all my friends and classmates are having babies. I follow their Facebook feeds and wait anxiously along with them while they wait for their bundles of joy and I rejoice with them when said bundle of joy enters the world. What bothers me is how often these ladies are being induced or forced into c-sections that aren't necessary.

I want to preface this rant by saying I am not a medical professional. I will not give you facts or figures so take my rant for what it's worth.

First of all, moms of the world, pregnancy is long and uncomfortable and I realize you want nothing more than to hold that precious baby in your arms but forcing that baby out before he or she is ready is not good for you or your baby. Yes, I understand there is a time and a place for everything, including labor induction, but asking your doctor for an induction because your back hurts or you're just tired of being pregnant is not a good reason. True story: I know a woman who asked her doctor for an induction because she was just so uncomfortable and her doctor obliged because she was "close enough" to her due date. Her baby spent the first 24 hours of its life in the NICU because its lungs were not fully developed.

Allow yourself to pause in your reading to gaze into this angel face for a moment of zen

. Charlotte Rose 3-28-08

Secondly, let's talk about Pitocin (aka Juice of the Devil). I don't know why doctors like to dole that out like it's candy but seriously, it needs to stop. It is my understanding (that is supported by fact) that the use of Pitocin can significantly raise your eventual need for a C-section. Now, I'm not sure if that's caused by the Pitocin itself or if that happens when it's paired with an epidural (which you will probably end up wanting because, let's face it, Pitocin contractions hurt...bad!). Regardless, my opinion is that medical interventions often lead to a domino effect of more medical interventions. And most of the time, the administration of Pitocin is done for the doctor's/hospital's sake...not yours. Case in point, when I was in labor with my oldest, my water broke at 3:30am. Most doctors like you to deliver within 24 hours of your water breaking to prevent infection...I get that. However, at around 5cm dilated (which was around 11:30am...give or take) it was determined that I was not making enough progress and that Pitocin would need to be used...I was nowhere near the 24 hour danger zone and I was clearly making progress so why was it "needed"...did I mention I went into labor on a Friday? Yeah...seems to me that my OB/GYN didn't want me screwing up her weekend. Now, why didn't I speak up for myself? Well, I was so doped up on pain meds (that were given to me without much explanation of the side effects which basically consisted of me blacking out between each contraction). Kind of hard to make medical decisions when you're passed out. Oh, but why didn't I have a birth plan? That's because at my 35 week check up my OB/GYN didn't think it was necessary to discuss it because I still had "plenty of time" (I went into labor/gave birth that same week). I honestly feel I was robbed of my goddess moment because all the power was in the hands of my doctor and I think most women accept this fate because they're just a pregnant woman against a medical professional.

Rocking helped relieve the pain of those pesky contractions

Oh, you know...just updating my Facebook status between contractions...like a boss...

So, how can we stop all this unnecessary intervention? First and foremost, educate yourself! Watch The Business of Being Born. It's truly an eye-opener on how childbirth is handled and viewed in this country. It's not a medical emergency that needs to be treated as quickly as possible. It is the most natural thing in the world and should be treated as such. When you educate yourself you can advocate for yourself. When my youngest was on the way, I walked into that OB/GYN's office like I owned the place. I looked my NEW OB straight in the eye and told him that unless it was an extreme medical circumstance that I would NOT be using Pitocin. If induction was needed (and it was) I would be induced the most natural way possible (which I feel I was) and that I would be allowed to move freely and I would not be offered pain meds unless I asked for them (which...due to the most excruciating back labor ever and complete lack of rest my nurses AND I thought it best that I use a one time intrathecal dose of anesthetic to allow me some rest...the dose lasted just over an hour and I was able to feel the urge to push when it was time). I made my birth plan known from the beginning. I accepted that plans change and that my doctor would keep me completely abreast of any changes or concerns he may have. The ONLY concession I had to make was that in asking for a more natural approach to induction (breaking of my water) that I had to be within my 24 hour safety zone. We agreed that if I had not made progress at the 6 hour mark then we would have to use the devil juice. THANK THE LORD my cervix was cooperative! The fact is, if I had not taken the time to educate myself on my options, I would have just blindly accepted that Pitocin was the only way to go. All I know is natural childbirth (well...like 95% natural) is the most empowering thing a woman can experience. I felt like a freaking goddess holding that newborn in my arms for the first time. No one can take that feeling away from me and no one should take it away from you because it's more convenient for them.

Almost 10 hours in and still smiling (this may or may not have been during my medicated state)

Finally, I want to touch on something just to make sure I don't piss anyone off too terribly. I understand plans change, emergencies happen, or you just don't like pain. I get that. Natural childbirth is not for everyone and it is a personal choice every woman should make for themselves. Having a more "non-natural" birth does not make you less of a woman by any means (uh, you grew a freaking human...you win...forever!). My rant is not meant to make any of those mommies feel bad. My rant is directed at doctors who have little to no interest in your desires and opt to pump women full of synthetic hormones so they don't miss their 9am tee time Saturday morning. Don't let some man/woman in a white coat bully you into something you're not comfortable with. Use your mommy instinct and don't be afraid to stick up for yourself. Think of that baby belly as a bomb strapped to your chest...I mean really...who should really be calling the shots in that L&D suite?
Childbirth is so amazing! It's beautiful and empowering. Seriously...I could have taken on the world at the moment I naturally gave birth to my 9lb 3oz baby girl. I stared at her for days and thought to myself "You came out of me...and it hurt...but I'm still alive! I can take on the world!!!" True story folks...

So, in conclusion...I know this is a bit all over the place but if you take anything from this post, let it be this: EDUCATE so you can ADVOCATE. Don't let anyone bully you into doing something you're not comfortable with just because they have a fancy piece of paper on the wall and a lab jacket.

Rant pants OFF. G'night world!

Wal-Mart: Always a pain...always

So, I have kind of been struggling with good ol' writer's block. Every time I think I have a good topic and I sit down to write...poof! I cant put it into words and I give up. I blame mommy brain...(it all comes back to the kids doesn't it). Anyway, something happened to me this week that I want to share because, despite an appropriate "cool down" period, I'm still pissed.

Let me start off by telling you a little about my job before I became a SAHM. I have always worked in the retail/customer service fields. More recently I was a lead teller at a local bank. I have always had a passion for serving others in the retail/customer service rep (CSR) capacity so it really irks me when I get poor customer service.

Wal-Mart is known for a lot of things. Super stores, low prices, women in poorly fitted pajama pants, etc. But one thing I can say, for certain, they are not known for (or at least shouldn't be known for) is customer service. Here's my story...

This week I was on my weekly grocery/supply run when I remembered that I still needed to make a cape for my BIL for Halloween. So, I made a B-line to fabrics to pick up some black fabric. Carrigan and I picked out what we needed and made our way to the cutting table. As per usual, there was no one there. No big deal I thought. Just ring the bell. After ringing said bell several times (and sometimes quite obnoxiously I'll admit) I had NO response. After about 10 minutes of waiting, a "skilled" Wal-Mart associate asks me if I've been helped. Upon hearing my answer, she assures me she would page somebody to that department immediately.  At this point, I'm more than irritated. I have a grumpy 3 year old in the cart begging for snacks (when isn't she begging for snacks?!) and quite frankly, I know I'm a SAHM and my schedule is pretty open but the fact still remains...mama has s#!& to do! The last thing I want to do is waste my entire morning at Wal-Mart. Anyway, I digress. At the sound of the "customer needs assistance in fabrics" announcement, I figure someone should be RUNNING to my aide, right? WRONG! I waited another 5 minutes! NOTHING!

I finally decided enough was enough...time to find a manager. Upon finding said manager, I explained my situation. I explained that, in my opinion, when you hear an announcement that a customer needs help, people should be tripping over each other to get there. The manager made a call and then, very officially, tells me that the woman who works in that department is out today. Um...okay, I still need my stuff! She then makes another call and then informs me that someone was now back there waiting for me. Well, okay...thanks? What really bothered me is that I got NO APOLOGIES...JUST EXCUSES. I don't give a crap that Sue from fabrics isn't here today. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HANDLE THIS?!

Anyway, to finish my tale, I got my fabric and a sulked off into the florescent blue yonder. I'm sure I was probably that customer I used to hate waiting on, but frankly, I feel I earned the right to be pissy. However, I have been left thinking "who's really to blame?". Is it the associates who didn't rush to my aid? Was it the manager for offered excuses in place of apologies? Was it me for waiting so long to seek help? In this, I have come to a conclusion. It's Wal-Mart. We've all heard the saying "You get what you pay for" so what did the Wal-Mart corporate headquarters think they were going to get by paying their employees poverty wages? Believe me...they are definitely getting what they're paying for.

I know some of you are reading this thinking "If you hate Wal-Mart so much, why do you go there?". The simple answer is necessity. The town I live in has few options. Everyone in my town hates Wal-Mart, but we all trudge there every week because we have very few options. One thing is for sure, as soon as a new store opens it's doors, they will have my business. Wal-Mart, until then, rest assured that I hate your freaking guts and I would like nothing more than to see your whole evil corporation crumble to the ground.

8:46am

It was a Tuesday morning in September not so long ago. I was 16 and I had dreams of a life outside my small Indiana town. My dream was to move to New York and grace the Broadway stage...hell, I would have settled for being a lowly shop girl in New York if it meant I got to live in that fairytale of a city. On September 10th, 2001, the city was still a magical place. I would see it's iconic skyline and feel at home. New York was my dream...my escape. I had never been there but I would still manage to escape there in my mind and feel like I belonged. I didn't always feel that way...it's tough being a small town girl with big city ideas sometimes...at least it was back then. However, I digress.

At 8:46 am September 11, 2001 the world stopped turning...but I didn't know. My classmates and I were in the middle of ISTEP testing (Indiana's standardized test) and unbeknownst to us all the world we had woken up to that morning, a beautiful September morning full of promise and hope, was changed forever. It wasn't until we were released for lunch that we all knew. I was a student aide for our school's junior high choir and when I walked in to the classroom, all eyes were on the TV staring at a smoking pile of rubble. When I asked what happened all anyone could say was "They're gone, the Twin Towers are gone". I saw tears in everyone's eyes that day. Everyone's heart was broken. The dream I had once held so dear to my heart was shattered. Now my escape was no longer a dream, but a nightmare. I no longer had that calming, belonging feeling when I thought about New York. Suddenly, the narrow back roads of Northern Indiana didn't seem that bad. Perhaps that's a blessing but part of me still feels a loss. My heart still breaks every time I see the images of those burning towers...not just for myself but especially for everyone who lost someone that day or had to experience that day up close and personally.

In 2005, I finally fulfilled PART of my original dream. I visited New York on my honeymoon and I had a wonderful time...but I didn't feel at home. I will never know if I would have ever felt at home to be honest. My husband and I visited Ground Zero of course. It was the most surreal moment of my life. In a city that is so chaotic, so busy, that site was still so quiet. The mood was somber...no words can describe the emotion I felt...and this was almost 6 years after that horrific day. I will never forget the way that place made me feel.
Everyone has a 9/11 story. This is mine. I know in the grand scheme of things, I was lucky because I was in small town Indiana watching it happen instead of personally living the nightmare but it doesn't change the fact that it changed the course of my life forever. It changed us all forever. I wouldn't change what I have for all the Tony awards in the world but part of me still wishes I could go back to being the wide-eyed dreamer I was prior to that Tuesday in September. We all lost a little bit of our wide-eyed innocence that day.
Say a special prayer for our country today. Blessings to you all and our country.

Demolishing Mean Girl Behavior

Well, it's been awhile and I'm sorry. Things have been pretty crazy around here with back to school preparation and end of summer fun. Thankfully, as of Tuesday, I officially became the mother of a kindergartner. I was really looking forward to this day as the sibling rivalry/bickering was reaching a fever pitch and to be honest, it was making me a little crazy. I never really understood why parents look forward to sending their little ones back to school but now, after my first summer as a SAHM, I can say, without a beat, that I TOTALLY get it now. I love my girls but I HATE the fighting.

When she grows up, she wants to be a ballerina.

 That being said though, at least for the first few weeks I'm sure, the peace I get during the day with only having one child to care for, is quickly made up for in the afternoon with a whiny and overtired kindergartner. All day school is hard for a 5 year old. As overwhelming as this whole kindergarten thing has been, it's opened up a dialogue that I'm very thankful to be having with my girls.

Always the ham

Growing up, I was always kind of awkward. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Always trying to fit in with the "cool kids" and always coming up short. I had a group of friends throughout elementary school that I am very thankful NOW...but back then, I always took them for granted.

I still don't understand why I was never prom queen

By the time I reached Jr High and High School, I had the pleasure for dealing with the mean girls. Honestly, I think any female of a certain age (well really, ANY age) will be able to tell you that the movie Mean Girls, in fact, was about THEIR high school experience. I wont say high school was terrible (believe me...other people had it much worse) but I would have loved for someone to stick up for me when the mean girls put me down or made me feel small. I wish I had stuck up for myself...but again, I just wanted to be liked. Admittedly, I brought it on myself sometimes. I blame shows like Dawson's Creek and Gilmore Girls for expanding my vocabulary to epic proportions. High school mean girls don't like it when you use words they don't understand while you correct their grammar. Also, I blame my mom for exposing me to classic cinema at an early age. Again, high school mean girls don't like it when you audibly guffaw at their lack of classic movie trivia (seriously, you don't know who Gene Kelly is? We cant be friends...). You know...I'm reading all this and realizing that maybe I was the mean girl. Really...aren't we all from time to time?

Anyway...I'm rambling...the point I'm TRYING to make is that I am starting a dialogue early with my daughter on the effects of bullying (whether it be physical, verbal, emotional). I've seen the beginnings of a bullying nature in her and I'm gonna nip that crap in the bud like yesterday! She's not a hitter (as most girls aren't) but her favorite tactic is uttering the phrase "Well, I'm not gonna be your friend if you don't do this". I've been there, I've felt that sting, and my daughter will not be THAT girl. So, on the first day of school, we sat down and had a little object lesson. An object lesson I plan to make a first day of school tradition.

This is what you need: A clean piece of paper...that's it.

Admittedly, I found this little lesson on Pinterest but I found it to be very effective (even for a 5 year old). Charlotte and I sat down with the said piece of paper. I told her the paper represented one of her classmates. I asked her to look at how clean the paper was...no dirt, no wrinkles,etc. This "person" was on top of the world and feeling pretty good about life and themselves. Then I wrinkled a corner and explained that someone just called him/her a stinky head. I wrinkled another corner and told her that someone pushed him/her on the playground. I wadded a little more and told her that no one wanted to play with him/her and so on and so forth until the whole paper was wadded up in a tight little ball. I then asked her what we could do to make it better. Of course she said we should apologize so I then started to straighten out the paper. Of course the paper was still very wrinkled. I told Charlotte that the object of this lesson was to teach her that even when we say we're sorry, the hurt from being mean to someone is still there.

Honestly, I didn't expect her to get it but I really think she did. I asked her to be on the look out for kids who didn't have anyone to play with and to reach out and be their friend. The world NEEDS kids like that. Thankfully at the age of 5, most kids are happy to play with anyone who wants to play but kids are being bullied at a younger age every day. Breaks my heart to hear of anyone taking their own life in any situation but when a child does it because they feel so broken is just heart wrenching.
I encourage you all to start the dialogue with your kids ASAP. Do NOT tolerate bullying on any level. I swear if I hear another person give the excuse of "kids will be kids" or "this is an important life skill to master and kids need to suck it up". Um, no, an important life skill is to teach your children is how to treat others with respect! No kid "deserves" to be bullied...even if they don't know who Gene Kelly is (I'm sorry...I couldn't resist). I know school comes with up and downs and I know that my daughter will eventually meet a "mean girl" but I will do everything in my power to see to it that she is not the mean girl. I want her to be the girl that everyone loves because of her beautiful heart and warm personality. Let's all teach our kids to be that person. Stand strong and set the example.
Well, until I blog again, I hope the start of fall finds you well. Welcome to the season of PUMPKIN EVERYTHING!