Happy Holidays...

It's here! It's finally here! My most favorite time of year! I cant begin to explain it, but I have always loved Christmas. Even as a kid, it was about more than just the packages under the tree. You could just feel the magic. The plainness of the small town I grew up in was transformed into a beautiful winter wonderland, people went out of their way to be nice, and my family (which, admittedly, had it's fair share of drama throughout my childhood) seemed to just be for awhile. Christmas is magic! Even as I approach 30, I still get giddy when I see that first glimmer of a Christmas tree or I see Santa ride into Herald Square on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. The sound of  Christmas music still makes me misty eyed and takes me back to that childlike state. Every. Single. Time. Long story short...I'm essentially Buddy the Elf.

Smiling's my favorite...

However, this cheerful elf often finds herself in a sea of Grinches. People who seem to hate Christmas (or the holiday season in general) just because they can. Whether it's the stress of gift buying, the constant stream of Christmas music, or they just never got that Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle (bonus points if you can figure out which Christmas movie I just referenced)...some people just really hate Christmas. Part of me cant comprehend such a thing and always try my best to be cheerful in the face of Grinchiness but another part of me understands and sees the potential culprit. It's the so-called "War on Christmas" and the battle for the holiday season.

First, let me start out by saying that for my family, Christmas is a time we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ (as it is for a lot of people). Sure, we still put up or Pagan tree and take our girls to see Santa Claus, but we still try our best to keep it as Christ centered as possible. Some years that means I read the Nativity story to my girls and some years it means we just sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. That being said, I understand (and dare I say, ACCEPT) that this isn't the only way to celebrate the holiday season. There are so many celebrations this time of year that are so rich in culture and are beautiful in their own way. Rooted in love, togetherness, and tradition...what's the problem?

Having worked in a retail/customer service setting for several years, I have come across people from all walks of life. Christmas time always being my favorite, I would always try to pass along the cheer as often as possible. And boy, let me tell you, a lot of people can be jerks this time of year. Once, for merely wishing a customer a "Merry Christmas", I got to be on the receiving end of an anti-Christian diatribe that seemed to last forever. I have also been on the receiving end of a Bill O'Reiley/Rush Limbaugh-esque verbal lashing for simply switching it up and saying "Happy Holidays". I have been received with deadpan responses like "Thanks, but I'm Jewish" or people who just downright ignored me and huffed away like I just told them to stick it where the sun don't shine. For the life of me, I don't understand why people are like this.

The voice of America ladies and gentleman

Let me tell you how I feel...when people tell me "Merry Christmas", I feel good and often reciprocate the sentiment. When people tell me "Happy Holidays" I feel good and often reciprocate the sentiment. I most certainly don't take it as an attack on my Christian faith and neither should you. We live in a world today where most people see the value of a human life as a big fat ZERO. Where people don't look up from their phones long enough to see a person in need of a friendly smile or casual hello. Where basic human kindness is virtually nonexistent. So if someone wants to take time out of their day to NOTICE ME and share a moment of kindness with me, I'm going to let them.

 As for holiday displays...PUT THEM ALL UP! I would love to see a display that celebrates the differences of our faiths. As a Christian, it bothers me that Christian symbolism is often times removed from holiday displays, but it doesn't anger me to see a menorah or Star of David next to a nativity. It doesn't bother me when people say holiday tree (though, admittedly, it sounds pretty stupid). What bothers me is the "my way is the only way" mentality. If we all just stopped fighting and just accepted our differences (and maybe try to see our similarities), the holidays would be more enjoyable. And atheists...could ya just stop? It's one thing to hold on to your non-beliefs, but to shame others for having beliefs is just ignorant. Stop making everything so political and just drink some egg nog already.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Just chill out this holiday season! Yes, it can be stressful and it can be lonely but just try to be open to the magic and I bet you can get back to that childlike, Buddy the Elf state too. And lastly, if you just CANT share the holiday cheer, keep your cynicism to yourself. There's enough of that poison going around. Just smile and be thankful that someone decided to share a bit of kindness with you.

You've got a friend in me...

So, I know I have been quite the absentee blogger (can I even consider myself a blogger?) but something has hit me today and I need put it into words I guess.

So, this morning, I came across a story about a mom in Tennessee. This young mom was arrested by an undercover cop at the Tennessee State Fair after apparently screaming at her 3 year old daughter and then, horrifically, smacking her daughter so hard on the back that she fell over and then the mom just walked away. Thankfully, the officer sprang into action and onlookers came to aid of the scared little girl.

Let me start by saying that this young woman's actions are completely unacceptable. No child deserves that treatment. Period. However, I think I'm about to take an unpopular stance here and say I feel for this mom on some level. Please do not misunderstand me...this woman deserves to be called out and even deserves her trip to jail. The child's safety is of the utmost importance here...but who's in Mom's corner? How many of you have seen a similar scene play out and said or did nothing? How many have passed by a mom who is seemingly at the end of her rope? What have you done to help women become better mothers? I'm not saying publicly losing it on your child on some level makes you a terrible mother...I mean, we've  all been there, right? The thing I am taking issue with is how quick we are to villainize each other. I don't know anything about this mother or about the events that led up to this terrible moment...maybe this woman is a monster...maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg of the abuse this little girl has to endure (and that thought truly breaks my heart). Or maybe this is just a young woman (mom's age is 22) who has never been taught how to be a proper mother...maybe this is a mom who is doing it all on her own with zero support system...maybe this is a mom that just snapped. I'm not saying her behavior is right...but before now, who has told her it is wrong? Who has offered to help her in these tough times? My guess is no one.

So, where do we go from here? I'm encouraging you all to reach out to each other. You see a mom having a rough time with her child? Ask if she needs help. Sure, she's probably going to say "no" but you're going to make her visible in a moment where she probably feels invisible. I know we're all busy. I know we all have our "stuff" to deal with and who knows, maybe you feel like that mom that is about to snap but when we reach out to each other, it makes us feel like we're not alone. Stop tearing each other down and build each other up. And any struggling mom that comes across this, I urge you to find a group of friends (playgroups, MOPS, library story hours are great venues to foster friendships with other moms). Be honest with each other about your struggles and help each other. I feel like if we were all honest about the help we need in this all consuming job of motherhood, stories like this would happen significantly less. Keep your eyes and hearts open. Don't let it come to this...

Attack of the SANCTIMOMMIES...

It's been awhile...I know, I know. I've been a little busy with my job. The hours suck, the boss is sometimes a pain in the butt, but I got a pretty hot co-worker so it all evens out. Anyway, I digress.

So, most of us in the parenting community are probably pretty familiar with the term "sanctimommy".  Most of us know at least one and have probably been one on one occasion or another or, God forbid, are a full fledged "sanctimommy" and don't even know it. Let me break it down for you...

According to Wikipedia, a "sanctimommy" (henceforth to be referred to as SM because I am too lazy to keep typing "sanctimommy") is;

 a portmanteau of two words, sanctimonious and mommy. The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility. 

Sound like someone you know? I am sure it does because, let's be honest, we've all been there a time or two. We all have our own opinions about this thing we call motherhood and sometimes we feel pretty strongly about them. Why do you think there are so many mommy blogs out there to begin with? But something is getting lost in translation. In our desires to be the best mommy humanly possible to our little ones, some of us have taken this desire a step too far by thinking that what works for YOU will (and should) work for everyone else. And this is where the all too famous "mommy wars" have begun and it's causing a lot of unnecessary stress in our already too stressful lives.

Now, I'm not saying stop having an opinion. Opinions are great! All I am saying is stop acting like your opinion is special. What works for my family may not work for yours. If slaving in the kitchen all day over a locally grown, organic masterpiece of a meal makes you feel like a good mommy, then by all means, do it but don't judge me for giving my kids macaroni and cheese and hot dogs because I wanted to have more time
to play outside. THAT'S what makes ME feel like a good mom. If you think homeschooling or private schooling is what's best for your kid then go for it but don't judge me because I recognize that I do not have the knowledge or patience to teach my children from a curriculum. It doesn't mean I don't care about their education or don't want to be involved with it...it just means I know my limits and what's best for MY kids. I think you get the point...

All I am saying is there is enough pressure on us as mothers to do a good job raising our kids. After all, it's probably the most important job in the world. We need to stop cutting other moms down. We need to stop giving advice that hasn't been solicited (I will go on record in saying that I HAVE done this and I'm working on it LOL). We NEED to lift each other up and support each other, no matter how different our opinions are. This job is freaking hard...let's stop making it harder by competing with each other. When in doubt...just shut up.