Are you there God? It's me, Awkward...

I remember the moment my husband and I realized we would have two girls growing up in our home. I took sadistic joy when I informed him that was at least 4 proms to buy dresses for and 2 weddings to pay for...seriously, I've never seen a face fall so quickly...it was priceless. However, Chris was quick to remind me that I would be responsible for any future "talks" that would inevitably need to be had. I think he was thinking my color would drain just as quickly. Pssh...whatever dude...I'm a lady. I can handle the "woman" talk when the time came. And I vowed to be open and honest to any questions my little ladies might have. I was going to be their go to person for every womanly question or trouble they might have.

Fast forward a few years later. Our scene opens up on a frazzled, youngish stay at home mom in the grocery store trying to get her 5 year old daughter to put down the box of Tampax she just put in the cart and, most importantly, trying to get said 5 year old to stop asking (loudly I might add) MOMMY? WHAT ARE THESE FOR?! WHY DO YOU NEED THESE? CAN I GET SOME TOO? WHY WONT YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE FOR?! At that moment, it hit me. The questions don't start when their bodies start to change...and I choked.

Now, this isn't the first time these questions have been asked of me (however, this was the most public experience...I saw you laughing at me Kroger associate). Any mommy will tell you that once your kids become mobile, all further "private moments" in the bathroom become essentially none existent so naturally they have had their questions. Sadly, I don't think I've given them good answers. I usually just try to distract them or change the subject. But why? I'm not embarrassed. It's completely natural and they're going to have to deal with it sooner than later. And then, it hit me. I want my little girls to be little girls for as long as humanly possible. Let's face it ladies...being a woman sucks sometimes. Our body is crazy. Seriously, the joys of womanhood are not for the faint of heart so why do I want to shatter the illusion at such a young age. When the time comes, I'll know it's time to answer the tough questions and bring those illusions crashing on down. Yes, I'll give the facts but I refuse to be one of these moms that celebrates their daughter's passage into womanhood with her very own copy of Are you there God? It's Me Margaret...I will welcome them to the club with a pan of brownies and a heating pad and a knowing look that says "You see why I didn't want to discuss this at a Kroger when you were 5?"

 All joking aside, I really do hope my girls feel comfortable talking to me about the tough stuff someday. And I really don't plan on the public school system to do my job for me either. But for now, we're just going to pretend that growing up is magical and not full of hormones, emotions, and debilitating cramps 1-2 weeks out of the month (if you're anything like me, the "pre-show" aka PMS is just as bad as the "big game"). For now, mommy just needs her special items and maybe a little privacy...