Regarding Order and Discipline...

So I have been trying to establish some order in this house in several ways. I have been doing some much needed organizing of all areas of the house (you're welcome, husband), I've got a nice little schedule going for myself, and, above all, I am working on establishing a discipline system for our girls. Through the process of trial and error I think we have finally settled on something that works pretty well for us. It's a behavior chart paired with a consequence jar. Allow me to explain.

I organized the crap out of my cleaning supplies today...WHAT WHAT!!

So, I was partaking in one of my favorite hobbies (binge pinning on Pinterest) when I stumbled upon a discipline system that intrigued me. It was a pretty rainbow colored chart that had encouraging words such as awesome and super and some not so encouraging words such as oops and warning. Basically, it works like this. Each child starts on Good Job everyday. If they make a positive behavior choice, they get to "move up" to SUPER. If they make it all the way to AWESOME then they get a stone in their jar. Now, the blog I got this from had an individual jar for each kid which is probably ideal, but we had our "Caught Ya Bein Good" jar leftover from a failed "Supernanny" technique. It still works because they have to also work together to get stones...they encourage each other to make good choices...sometimes. And by encourage each other, I mean Charlotte bosses everyone around. The kid is a tyrant sometimes. If they make a poor behavior choice, they must move down to Oops (unless they do something to intentionally hurt each other, then they move to 5 Minutes) and then draw a consequence from the jar. I really like the consequence jar most of all. The consequences are completely customizable to your family needs and they keep me from yelling until I'm blue in the face. It's like a brief time-out for everyone We have standard ones in there like pick up your room, five minutes of no talking, no TV for 30 mins, etc but then we also have non-traditional consequences like give one toy of your choice to Goodwill, give mommy a back rub (my personal favorite), and draw a picture for someone at church. The possibilities are endless! Whatever you do, just make sure they're age appropriate (i.e Don't expect your 3 year old to wash the dishes or run the vacuum). And throw some silly ones in there (quack like a duck, sing a silly song, etc)...they may laugh and have fun (which may seem backwards if they're supposed to be being "punished") but it will distract them from their poor behavior and you wont be yelling as much. Win-win in my book. Oh, and if they're "in the red" and they do something to "move up" they can only move one space at a time. Tommie does a great job explaining it in her post...I feel like I'm describing a hastily thrown together board game...I promise this works though!

The Horn Family Behavior Chart/Consequence Jar System. The "Caught Ya Bein Good" Jar was from a previous behavior modification technique. Now we use it as our jar to collect stones for our good behavior.

So, what's to motivate our girls to "move up" the board? Well, if at the end of the day they're in the "green" (good job, super, or awesome). They get 5 stones in their good behavior jar. Once the jar is full, they get a prize (right now we're working for a trip to Jungle Joe's which is an indoor inflatable amusement park). We're almost there!

JUNGLE JOE'S!!!!!! Oh yeah, adults can enjoy the fun too...

All in all, our system is working. It helps them remain accountable and it motivates them to make good behavior choices. Hell, it's even motivated my 5 year old to go above and beyond what's normally expected of her just so she can "move up". There is no sweeter sound than your soon to be kindergartner saying "Mommy, can I have a wet towel so I can wipe off the tables for you?" Um, let me think...HELL YEAH YOU CAN! PARENTING WIN!

So, if you're at your wits end with your child's behavior, I highly recommend you try this system. It works and it has saved me sooo much yelling and that is worth it many times over in my world. Thank you again to Tommie of Oh My Gluestick for the idea and for helping establish some much needed order to our home.

PS: My girls have never made it to Lose Privileges but if they did, it would be losing TV time, bedtime stories, etc. Honestly, they've only made it as far as the 5 Minutes. Thankfully that's been enough to scare them straight but we'll see how the long winter months go...Lord help us all in the winter months...

My crazy girls...Charlotte and The New Jan Brady