I remember the moment my husband and I realized we would have two girls growing up in our home. I took sadistic joy when I informed him that was at least 4 proms to buy dresses for and 2 weddings to pay for...seriously, I've never seen a face fall so quickly...it was priceless. However, Chris was quick to remind me that I would be responsible for any future "talks" that would inevitably need to be had. I think he was thinking my color would drain just as quickly. Pssh...whatever dude...I'm a lady. I can handle the "woman" talk when the time came. And I vowed to be open and honest to any questions my little ladies might have. I was going to be their go to person for every womanly question or trouble they might have.
Fast forward a few years later. Our scene opens up on a frazzled, youngish stay at home mom in the grocery store trying to get her 5 year old daughter to put down the box of Tampax she just put in the cart and, most importantly, trying to get said 5 year old to stop asking (loudly I might add) MOMMY? WHAT ARE THESE FOR?! WHY DO YOU NEED THESE? CAN I GET SOME TOO? WHY WONT YOU TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE FOR?! At that moment, it hit me. The questions don't start when their bodies start to change...and I choked.
Now, this isn't the first time these questions have been asked of me (however, this was the most public experience...I saw you laughing at me Kroger associate). Any mommy will tell you that once your kids become mobile, all further "private moments" in the bathroom become essentially none existent so naturally they have had their questions. Sadly, I don't think I've given them good answers. I usually just try to distract them or change the subject. But why? I'm not embarrassed. It's completely natural and they're going to have to deal with it sooner than later. And then, it hit me. I want my little girls to be little girls for as long as humanly possible. Let's face it ladies...being a woman sucks sometimes. Our body is crazy. Seriously, the joys of womanhood are not for the faint of heart so why do I want to shatter the illusion at such a young age. When the time comes, I'll know it's time to answer the tough questions and bring those illusions crashing on down. Yes, I'll give the facts but I refuse to be one of these moms that celebrates their daughter's passage into womanhood with her very own copy of Are you there God? It's Me Margaret...I will welcome them to the club with a pan of brownies and a heating pad and a knowing look that says "You see why I didn't want to discuss this at a Kroger when you were 5?"
All joking aside, I really do hope my girls feel comfortable talking to me about the tough stuff someday. And I really don't plan on the public school system to do my job for me either. But for now, we're just going to pretend that growing up is magical and not full of hormones, emotions, and debilitating cramps 1-2 weeks out of the month (if you're anything like me, the "pre-show" aka PMS is just as bad as the "big game"). For now, mommy just needs her special items and maybe a little privacy...
Whew! What a week...what a month! My extended absence has been largely due to the fact that Charlotte and Chris had their Sound of Music performances last week which, by and large, kept us extremely busy and exhausted. Poor Carrigan (who was not involved in any capacity) didnt know what to think. My "mommy guilt" was on high last week...she was the child left behind all week. We are, however, making up for it now with extra cuddles. Incidentally, the show was brilliant! I have never been so proud of my family as I was this weekend. I know I am a bit biased but my daughter was brilliant. The work she put in this summer was amazing! I was backstage "helping" her all weekend but, in reality, she was a true professional.
SHE knew her cues and was telling ME when they were and how fast her costume changes were. She knew every one of her lines, dances, songs...she was a shining star. Okay...brag fest over. The ENTIRE cast was brilliant. And let me just say my husband is the sexiest Captain Von Trapp since Christopher Plummer. It was a great summer experience for them both but if we're being totally honest, I AM SO HAPPY IT'S OVER! Who knew I would be happy to get back to the ol' grind of household chores and grocery shopping?
Well, if I am being entirely honest, my brain is still pretty fried from last week. It's what we theatre geeks call a "theatre hangover". I, more or less, wanted to ease back into the blogging waters and make my presence known. Until I am able to form a more coherent thought, here are some photos of my loved ones in their Sound of Music production courtesy of Chris's cousin, Vicky Klopfenstein. Enjoy!
Well, the summer is half way over for this momma (though, for my Indiana friends the summer is drawing to a close very soon) and I want to just take a minute to say that I am loving (almost) every minute of it. This is my first summer as a SAHM and it has been fantastic to enjoy all the things I used to hear my bank customers raving about. And I'm TAN! Like an actual, honest to goodness tan. Okay, well, maybe not super tan like some people but "Irish girl tan" which is like a bunch of freckles really close together and a healthy glow. The girls and I have been having a blast (for the most part) so I wanted to share a little bit of what's been going on here at the Horn Homestead.
Our summer started out with a trip to the Midwestern paradise known as Sandusky, Ohio. We took our girls on their first trip to Cedar Point (America's Rockin' Roller Coast). Our girls had a blast so in turn, we had a blast. Some might think taking a 3 year old and a 5 year old to an amusement park is a waste of money but CP has a surprising amount of kiddie rides...including roller coasters!
Carrigan LOVING the coaster
Charlotte is our silly face queen
Seriously, I think the highlight of our day was seeing Carrigan's beaming smile as she rounded the corner of the Jr. Gemini. Three years old and the kid has already conquered her first roller coaster. Our only parental complaint (and really it was our own fault for not properly planning ahead) was the price of food. HOLY CRAP! I would say we spent AT LEAST $80 on food. Ridiculous! Anyway, I digress. I don't want to be too much of a curmudgeon because honestly, the joy I saw on the faces of my little girls was totally worth it.
The next adventure came the following day when we stopped off at the Toledo Zoo. First of all, let me just say that the Toledo Zoo is awesome! I saw baby polar bears, and a baby elephant, and baby monkeys...there were adorable babies everywhere...except mine. My babies were nightmares.
Why did we come here again?
I am chalking the experience up to one of two things. One being we made a mistake going to Cedar Point first. Logically, it made perfect sense. Sandusky is further East than Toledo so our logic was we would do CP first, swing back to Toledo, spend the night, go to the zoo, and be on our way home. No back tracking. However, when you take your children to one of the country's most celebrated amusement parks and then follow up with the zoo, it really does pale in comparison. My second theory is that the kids were just too tired to enjoy the zoo but let's be honest...I really don't think the average child truly enjoys the zoo. Most kids are in it for the chance to ride a train or carousel and to visit the gift shop. That's it. Parents take their children there to show them animals they don't get to see in their everyday lives but really, by the time you're midway through the zoo, it just becomes a game of survival and you trying not to feed your children to the hippos.
If your kids actually enjoy the zoo (and I mean genuinely enjoy it) then congratulations...you're one of the lucky ones. Also, can I just say that I HATE that most zoos have a playground in the middle of them? Yes, I understand the zoo planner THOUGHT he/she was throwing us a bone by breaking up the monotony of animal watching by placing an oasis of playground equipment in the final plans. but can I just say that if I wanted to take my kids to a playground, I would have just stayed home and saved myself the cost of admission and overpriced zoo food...just saying. Anyway, the zoo was wonderful but the experience...eh. We decided when we go back, we'll go by ourselves and save ourselves the agony of dragging whiny kids along in a wagon.
This picture I believe captures the essence of our day at the Toledo Zoo
Well, after our Ohio adventure it was time for me to settle into my new role of stay at home mommy. All in all I feel the transition has gone well. I am still trying to figure out my "routine". I do know that Tuesdays are our library days and Thursdays are grocery days but beyond that, it's all kind of a free for all right now. Most days I feel like I'm a referee and nothing more but the house isn't in total disrepair so we'll call it a win.
Charlotte and Chris have both been busy with a community theatre production of The Sound of Music. Charlotte is playing Gretl Von Trapp and Chris is playing the role of Captain Von Trapp. They have been busy but I think both are excited. I am very excited to see my daughter upstage her daddy. I just hope Chris is ready to share his spotlight.
Lifeguard duty at the Horn Family Pool
So, when I am not doing housework or running errands, the girls and I have been spending a lot of time in our inflatable pool. The girls love to splash and play and I like to lounge and work on the aforementioned tan. Seriously, the best $25 I have ever spent. The only downfall is the amount of work that goes into keeping it clean. No filter means a lot of water changes. Probably not the greenest summer activity but I guess I am keeping the worms happy (the girls and I caught and then released 10 worms the other night...they liked the water we were dumping on the ground).
All in all, this first summer "on the job" has been great. I think we're well on our way to making some everlasting memories. However, I'd be lying if I wasn't just a little excited for Charlotte to go back to school. One kid in school means only one kid at home...and if Carrigan starts fighting with herself I'll be a little worried. Maybe I'll actually get this place organized...hey, a woman can dream!
So, I have been in a real funk this week. I keep trying to get out but I am struggling. The reasons for it seem so childish and almost selfish but it's something that is weighing on my heart and I want...no...need to share it. I need to let it out so I can get back to my old self.
Sunday morning I woke up in the usual way. I drowsily picked up my phone, checked the forecast for the day, and hopped on my Facebook feed to see what I had missed in the 8 hours I had been sleeping. I then read this:
Statement on behalf of: GLEE Executive Producers, 20th Century Fox Television and FOX Broadcasting Company.
We are deeply saddened by this tragic news. Cory was an exceptional
talent and an even more exceptional person. He was a true joy to work
with and we will all miss him tremendously. Our thoughts and prayers are
with his family and loved ones.
My first thought was "No, no, no...I read that wrong" so I hopped on Google and as I started typing "C-O-R-Y M-O" I saw it. Cory Montieth dead. The news stories that popped up confirmed what I was so desperately hoping wasn't true. Cory Montieth, the star of my favorite TV show and a personal favorite of mine, had died at the age of 31. My heart was broken.
Let's start at the beginning. In May 2009 my husband and I watched the pilot episode of Glee. Naturally, we were drawn to it being that A) We're both from the Midwest B) We are both show choir veterans and C) We understand and appreciate why A&B are connected. Most importantly, we love music so Glee was right up our alley. The first episode was hilarious and mesmerizing. I STILL, to this day, get chills every time I hear the Glee version of "Don't Stop Believing". I immediately pledged my allegiance to Rachel Berry and her love for Finn Hudson (played by Montieth). From the beginning, I knew that Finn was no dumb jock. Week after week we tuned in, growing more attached to different members of the New Directions show choir but Finn was always a stand out favorite for Chris and I both. We laughed with him and cried with him...we even felt like kicking a chair or two with him. We both felt like we KNEW him.
Glee has really been a huge part of our lives since we started watching it. No matter what was going on in our lives we always looked forward to Glee night. For one hour, it was like being in another world and those kids became an extension of our lives. Their triumphs became ours and their tears were felt by us too. TV can be a really intimate experience if you let it.
When I found out about Cory Montieth's tragic death, my brain did not selfishly go to "BUT WHAT ABOUT GLEE?!" My first thought was about his family, friends, co-stars, and his love, Lea Michele, who plays his on-screen love interest. My heart broke for all of them. My heart hurts so much right now for those who actually KNEW him but I am also sad because I, like a lot of fans, feel like I lost a friend. He was such an AMAZING talent and seemed so humble and down to earth...someone to be admired. His demons did not and should not define him. He was human and he was sick.
So, why am I so sad...I don't know. Honestly, I am very confused by my emotions right now. I am still shocked. I keep checking my Twitter feed hoping and praying that they got it all wrong. That it was just a really really really mean practical joke or something...but it's not. It's really happening. How do I cope? I watch a lot of YouTube tribute videos and have myself a good, healthy, ugly cry...though I'm not sure WHY I'm crying. I didn't KNOW him personally. I was just a fan. I hurt because I do feel like I've watched him grow. As a person, an actor, a musician...I really do feel like I know him on some level. It's weird I guess. He, and the rest of the cast of Glee have been in our home every week through our television. I know Finn from the show is not a real person to be mourned. I just feel like this little Glee universe has been shaken. It's hard to imagine what they're all going through right now.
Well, consider my heart poured out. The world lost an amazing talent and a great person. I really do believe he was trying to beat this...and I'm pissed that he didn't. I pray that God heal the wounds that have been left behind and that people will remember the GOOD.
Tonight my husband and I are enjoying a rare treat...a house without children!(THANKS MOM!) Some may call it date night. I call it FUN! So, you might be asking yourself why on earth am I blogging when I can be cuddling it up with my man? Well, this is our version or "date night". We are currently camped out on the couch watching Netflix documentaries and drinking a much deserved beer together. It really is magical.
As parents, I feel like a lot of us put pressure on ourselves to make "date night" a grand affair. Dinner, drinks, maybe a movie, and a little...well...you know. Oh yeah, and absolutely NO TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS! Right? Well, date night might look like that to some folks (celebrities and other people with nannies I assume) but for most of us it probably looks like this:
Dinner
Tonight's dinner consisted of walking down to a local pizza joint with coupon in tow (because we're frugal, it's just how we roll). We get to said eatery only to find out the coupon was no longer being accepted but we stay anyway because I'm not walking back in the summer heat without food in my belly. Incidentally, the pizza was AH-MAZING. We then decided that this was OUR pizza place because if we brought our kids here they would just complain that the pizza was not to their liking. Kids are the worst sometimes...
Me and my AH-MAZING pizza from Mike's Pizza and Subs
Dessert
On our walk back home we stop at a local ice cream shop where my husband gets a bowl of Blue Moon ice cream and I awkwardly over share with the nice girl behind the counter by telling her that I'm lactose intolerant which is basically saying "If I eat ice cream, I might poop my pants". You know...I never used to be lactose intolerant. It was an unpleasant side effect brought out by my first pregnancy and it never left. Did I mention kids are the worst sometimes?
Entertainment
So tonight's entertainment was our first viewing of Oz: The Great and Powerful. We did this to "pre-screen it for the kids"...oh, who am I kidding? Chris and I LOVE all things Oz related and were more than willing participants. Incidentally, we decided the girls are NOT ready to see it (it's kind of scary in some parts). Oh yeah, we also took time to make some mildly inappropriate jokes...something we NEVER get to do when the kids are around. Did you know my husband is HILARIOUS? I mean, I knew that was part of what I fell in love with but man, it's easy to forget when we're dealing with the rigors for parenthood.
I love being silly with my man
After the movie...
So this is where the...you know...comes in right? WRONG! After the movie, Chris proceeded to work on the patio (IT'S ALMOST DONE YA'LL!!) and I did dishes and general clean up. And now, we're watching Netflix, drinking a beer, and blogging all while enjoying each others' company. And frankly, I am a bit appalled that you think I would talk about something so private on my public blog...for shame, perverts.
There is no one I would rather share my popcorn (and kisses) with.
The thing I'm trying to say is don't put so much pressure on date night. The more you expect from it, the more awkward it will be. And lose the rule about not talking about your kids. By doing that, you miss out on a different way to enjoy your kids and their antics. That time they colored on your dining room wall (yeah...that happened) is ALWAYS funnier with a glass of pinot in your hand and the man you love sitting across from you.
Artwork courtesy of Carrigan Jean (FYI: WD40 works great for removing crayon from a dining room wall)
The time away from the kidlets is also a great time to regroup, restrategize, and revamp any parenting issues that may be causing problems. I'm not saying talk about your kids exclusively but believe me, the more you try to leave them out of the conversation, the more forced the evening will seem. All in all, have fun! I have laughed more tonight than I have all week. I really picked a good one.
So earlier this spring, my husband and I decided our backyard was missing something...a patio! So we went to work...and by we, I mean HE went to work. And to be fair, I attempted to help but there were earwigs on EVERYTHING and I think he got tired of hearing me scream and swear every 5 seconds. Pair that with my natural "indoorsy" personality and that makes me a lousy helper when it comes to outdoor projects. He is way too good to me sometimes.
Chris digging out our patio. I posted this on Facebook with the caption saying "If I ask him to go any bigger, his next project will be digging my grave". People thought I was joking...
The thing about digging up that much topsoil is that it produces a lot of rocks of various shapes and sizes. To the untrained eye and mind this might seem like an inconvenience but to me, I saw opportunity for an awesome activity for the girls; pet rocks. Now those of an older generation your first thought might be that stupid novelty gift from the 70s that was a rock in a box...that's it. Drugs really messed you guys up, huh? Who buys a plain ol' rock?! Excuse me while I take a sip from my Dasani (that's bottled water for those who didn't get the joke).
Anyway, this is what we used/needed for our project:
Small(ish) rocks that are smooth in nature (jagged rocks are hard to paint)
Craft paint (acrylic works best but if you're worried about your kids using it washable "kid paint" would PROBABLY be okay but I cant say as we didn't use it)
GLITTER (yes, I know...glitter is the herpes of craft supplies...you will not get rid of it but when you are the mother of two girls it's just easier to accept the fact that glitter WILL come into this house because when you have girls, they put glitter on EVERYTHING)
Googly eyes
Yarn (a short little piece will work just fine as we just used it for the mouth but if you want to get brave and make hair then you'll need more)
Pom-Pom (for the nose)
All purpose craft glue (School glue will not cut it...sorry. You can try but you and your children will get frustrated)
Paint brushes
Protective gear for your children and your table (aka smocks and table covering)
We started out cleaning the rocks the best we could to remove any excess dirt. This can be accomplished by running it under warm water and maybe a little scrub with the rough side of the sponge. It doesn't need to be super vigorous or anything. Dry them off with a dish towel and now you're ready to paint. My girls like to mix colors and such so this is the fun (aka messy) part. Just let them have at it and maybe try to smooth out globs if necessary.
Once you're done painting it's time for glitter (if you so choose). We just applied the glitter onto the wet paint. This way you can continue on with your project without too much wait time (which is coming next...). If you're kids are like mine, this part might get a little crazy. I tried to tell them to shake it like a salt shaker but apparently this meant shake it like you're trying to pass bits of concrete through the salt shaker because they went crazy! There was glitter everywhere!
It was glitter madness! Check out Carrigan's blurry hand action due to her vigorous glitter shaking
When the painting and glitter are done, now is the least fun part...waiting. I guess you could try to dry them faster with a hair dryer or something but I think it's important to teach kids patience so we waited. An hour or two should do it (maybe watch a movie together?). As long as the paint isn't too globby you shouldn't have to wait forever.
When you're new friends are dry, it's time to give them personality. This is the fun part that isn't too messy (HUZZAH!). Give your rock eyes, a nose, and mouth using your pom-poms, yarn, and eyes. If you want to get really brave and give them hair then just attach more yarn (and God be with you). Also, if you're worried about the glitter falling off (but really, at this point, does it REALLY matter?) then you can use a spray on clear coat. Just make sure you do it outside because it's smelly and honestly, I'm not sure how much you'd want your little one handling it after that. We didn't use it but I have also accepted my glitter fate (I tell you...it's everywhere!).
Carrigan and Charlotte's Pet Rocks gracefully adorning our mantle
There you have it. Pet rocks. They make wonderful additions to any decor and make marvelous paper weights. Both girls LOVED this project and my part in it was pretty minimal (I helped with glue placement...that's it). I do not pretend to have created this project as I have seen numerous similar posts on Pinterest but this was my take on those projects and I encourage you to do the same. Remember, everything can be washed and that's what play clothes and smocks are for. HAVE FUN and make memories!
It's true what they say about women...we're sweet, we're caring, we're delicate, we're...emotionally unstable most of the time. Okay, okay...you might be denying that last statement but it's because you're on an upswing this week. I will be the first to admit I am emotional to a fault. I HAVE actually cried over spilled milk, I often take my husband's jokes at my expense personally (even if I DID laugh at the same joke a week ago), and I cry when I'm happy, sad, and angry. It's who I am...and thank goodness for the invention of mood altering prescription drugs (I know this can be a touchy subject that people can get a bit opinionated on but for me, Zoloft is my friend and I am not ashamed to say I need a little medical help when it comes to my emotional well being). Without the help of my "happy pills" I tend to go from zero to cray-cray in a matter of seconds.
Well that being said, I always knew I was emotional but everything I have learned about emotional highs and lows have come from my daughters. Oh my gosh! I have never seen someone experience so many emotions in one day, let alone one minute!
Carrigan cheesing it up at the zoo (after whining until she got to be pulled in a wagon)
My Carrigan can go from sweet and goofy to whiny and spiteful in a matter of milliseconds. We can literally be laughing and having a good time one moment and then I will tell her "No, you cannot have Smarties at 6:30am" and you would think I just told her she was never going to eat again. She's my munch monster...the girl can eat all day if I'd let her...except at dinner time when you give her a well-balanced meal and she looks at it, picks at it, and then asks for Smarties. I swear we don't give her Smarties all the time but when she does get them, it's like watching a crack addict get a long awaited fix (or so I assume). Her whining fits are, by far, the hardest part of my day sometimes but I have to remind myself she is on the young side of three and that I must be patient...and nap time and/or bedtime is just around the corner (and she cant tell time so if nap time needs to come a little sooner than later...well, at least I still have that advantage).
Crying because I wouldn't push her on the swing because I was trying to take a picture of her on said swing that she was happily swinging on seconds before this shot was taken...
I take pictures of my kids crying...all the time
Whining and crying and temper tantrums aside, there are some days that they don't even compare to the attitude of a five-year-old who is actually 5 going on 15. Charlotte Rose has a mouth on her that apparently, while in use, inhibits the listening ability of her ears. I blame school. Yes...Charlotte learned so many wonderful things at preschool this year. Letters, numbers, Bible stories, etc. However, she also learned heavy sighs, eye rolling, and back talking. Any Trinity preschool moms that might be reading this, I DO NOT blame you OR your children for these new habits just as I would hope you wouldn't blame me for anything your daughters brought home with them. It's just the school mentality that causes little girls to turn a wee bit bratty for some reason. It's like a weird scientific phenomenon that can only be explained by some weird algorithm or something. Actually I think I'll blame the Disney Channel programming...yeah, let's do that.
Charlotte is not impressed (Has anyone seen my sweet little girl?)
I write this because yesterday was a rough day. Both girls were in, what we politely call, "rare form". I wish I could say it was just yesterday but I honestly think it's been a week or two's worth of events that led up to this day. Long story short, I took the girls to Wal-Mart...it did not go well(do they ever?). I informed Charlotte that her dad would be made aware of her behavior...it did not go well. My husband and I had what I like to call a "Come to Jesus" talk with her about her behavior as of late...it did not go well. It ended with doors slamming in my face and listening to the wails of a child wronged ("Mommy is the MEANEST mommy" "I don't LOVE her anymore!" "I never get to do ANYTHING!").
Sweet little girl FOUND (for now at least)
However, a short hour later, she was a different child. Mild mannered, agreeable, loving...the spell apparently broken which led me to this thought as I sit listening to my children play together upstairs...at the end of the day, my kids are awesome...emotional outbursts and all. I am incredibly blessed to be here with them 24/7...even on the Jekyll and Hyde days.
